The Birthday Speech Joke Pack
PDF · delivered instantly · 14-day refund, no questions
These are not finished jokes. A complete gag about someone nobody has met is exactly what makes a speech sound downloaded. Every line here has a slot in it instead: the line gives you the shape, you supply the detail.
The largest section is the one that does the most work, and it is built on a single rule: always-does beats once-did. Everyone present has witnessed the pattern, so the laugh is collective. A one-off story only lands for the people who were there.
Over the hill. Vintage, antique, classic model. Needing a nap, a stairlift, reading glasses. Not old, just retro. Every birthday joke list has these and they are excluded here on purpose, along with anything about hair, weight or what the doctor said. Half of them cost you the room, and none of them are about the person whose birthday it is.
Contents
Everything below is in the one purchase, and every number here is a count of the real file, not a round figure.
- 01 A 9-page PDF: 90 numbered lines, organised by where they go in the speech
- 02 Twenty-five lines on the patterns a person reliably repeats, which is where most of a roast comes from
- 03 A section on the version of them from before you knew them, which is the best material at a 60th or older
- 04 A section for the turn, plus closings built to call back to your roast
PDF · delivered instantly · 14-day refund, no questions
Not what you needed? Email within 14 days and I'll refund it. You keep the files.
How it works
- PayCard, Apple Pay or Google Pay. No account needed, just an email address.
- DownloadThe PDF guide and Word template land on the confirmation screen immediately, and in your inbox as a link that doesn't expire.
- Pick your slotFind the section for where you need a line: the opener, the patterns, the early years, or the turn.
- Fill the slotEvery line has a bracket in it. Put a real detail in: the shortcut they swear by, the year, the car, the phrase they always use.
- Use two to four, not eightA birthday speech with eight jokes in it is a set, and the room will start grading you.
- Give the speechStructure done, material real, nerves the only thing left to manage.
Questions
How do I get it after I pay?
Instant download on the confirmation screen, plus emailed to you as a permanent link that never expires. No account needed to buy or to redownload later.
What formats do I get?
A 9-page PDF with 90 numbered lines. There is no Word version of this one, because there is nothing in it to fill in: you take a line and put your own detail in the slot.
Do I get a Word version?
No, and deliberately so. The speech guides ship a Word template because you type your speech into them. The joke pack is a reference list you pick from, so it ships as a PDF you can print or read off a phone.
What if it's not right for me?
Email within 14 days and it's refunded, no questions asked. You keep the files either way.
Will it sound like a template?
That is exactly what the slots are for. A line with nothing of yours in it gets a polite noise from people who have known them twenty years. The same line with the real shortcut, the real phrase or the real year in it gets a laugh, because it could only be about them.
Do I need this if I am buying a speech guide?
No. It is included free with every birthday speech guide and with the Birthday Speech Pack, in the same download. It is sold separately at $9 for people who already have their structure sorted and just want the material.
Need the shape of the speech as well as the lines? Start with the guide for your milestone, which includes this pack free.
Buying for more than one speaker? The Birthday Speech Pack, all three guides plus the joke pack, is $39.